5 years ago

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The Royally Official Fictional Analysis of Fictional Lead Characters in Game of Thrones #5

MAN IN KITCHEN: 'Oi! Who are you?'

ARYA IN DISGUISE: 'I am Bruhmilda. I have been sent to assist in the kitchens.'

MAN IN KITCHEN: 'I don't require help. Who sent you to me?'

ARYA IN DISGUISE: 'Ehhh... Tim... Frey...'

MAN IN KITCHEN: 'Tim Frey? There is no Tim Frey. I been runnin' the kitchen 'ere in The Twins for near 30 years and I seen me all the Freys a man can see and I ain' never heard of no Tim Frey.'

ARYA IN DISGUISE: ...

MAN IN KITCHEN: 'An' why be ya draggin' that big sack... that big wet sack... by the Seven... be that blood leaking from that sack?'

ARYA IN DISGUISE: 'Yes, you see I was sent by Tim Frey to bring you this... cow meat...'

MAN IN KITCHEN: 'That's a human arm in there! Oi! One of you lot of nearly 40 kitchen workers, each of whom is required in order to cook meals for the large amount o' noble people that be livin' in this keep, go off an' get the guards!'

WARNING! FOR HERE BE SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS INDEED FOR ALL PUBLISHED BOOKS IN #GRRM'S A Song of Ice and Fire AS WELL AS ALL TELEVISED EPISODES OF HBO'S Game of Thrones...

Born amidst salt and smoke- Just off the Long Island Expressway- Beneath a bleeding star...

Arya Stark- universally loved by all. John and Seannie-Wan have been of the Royal opinion that the Arya story in the source material upon which Game of Thrones is based is likely the best story of all. But the televised story based on it? Not so much.

Listen to #TPTWP criticize David Benioff and D.B. Weiss for producing television that doesn't seem to understand Arya Stark.

Also, The Promised Princes dig deep into the frequent and mind-boggling cast changes of minor characters that do not even attempt any sort of continuity.

The Princes That Were Promised are John and Seannie-Wan. Join them as they tear apart Westeros and sift through the pieces to bring their Leal and Loyal Subjects the history of the Realm and The Known World from both George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire and HBO's adaptation, Game of Thrones.

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Read The Westerosi Companion for scholarly essays and in-depth reviews.